


Liquid Courage

by omgahgase



Category: GOT7
Genre: 2Jae, Couch Cuddles, Dorks in Love, Drunken Confessions, Fluff, Kissing, Kitchen Cuddles, Love Confessions, M/M, jaebeom's a dumb babie, youngjae loves him tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-07
Updated: 2020-05-07
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:08:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24054181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/omgahgase/pseuds/omgahgase
Summary: Jaebeom's fueled by adrenaline and alcohol when he ran to Youngjae's apartment at 2am. He had no real plan in mind, just the need to see him and maybe tell him how he dreams of living together with five cats and a dog. Jaebeom's also terrified of rejection but with a few bottles of soju in him, he finds enough bravery in himself to confess to Youngjae and make that dream come true.
Relationships: Choi Youngjae/Im Jaebum | JB
Comments: 19
Kudos: 108





	Liquid Courage

**Author's Note:**

> (this is set in the timeline of chapped, pls refer to chapter 3 if you're confused)
> 
> this little piece is long overdue, but here she is! I had lots of fun making jaebeom a disaster gay and youngjae resisting the urge to punch him, I hope you guys enjoy this just as much as I loved writing it <3

Nora, Jaebeom finally concluded, is the best friend he could ever ask for. 

Yes, Jaebeom has his group members and close colleagues he’s made over the years, but none of them has ever understood him like Nora does. She comforts him when he’s in need. She makes him laugh when he’s feeling down. She even checks on him when he’s spending too much time in the studio. Nora has always been there for Jaebeom when he needed her most and he appreciates her for it. 

Especially now, when he’s ranting to her for the umpteenth time. 

“He turns me into a complete idiot. How am I s’pose to tell him how I feel when my tongue is in my throat?” Jaebeom asked. He stared at his cat perched on the sofa's armrest, looking just about as clueless as he felt. She meowed at him and Jaebeom nodded in agreement. “I know, I know. It’s a poor excuse. Well, what do you think I should do?”

Nora gave him a deadpan stare. Her grey eyes seemed to tell him to _figure it out yourself,_ then she stretched and hopped off the couch. She left Jaebeom fuming with no real advice and a lazy swish of her tail. 

“Thanks for the talk!” He called after her. _So much for unconditional love and support._

Jaebeom swiveled in his seat in search of his other feline friends, but when he didn’t see any of them around, he sunk back into the cushions. He supposed he could sit there, in his sleepwear, nursing a half-empty bottle of soju for the rest of the night, but Jaebeom really needs someone to talk to. 

His crisis of discovering his feelings for his bandmate is worsening each day. His heart rate picks up, he stutters over his words, and recently he’s been daydreaming about what it would feel like to hold his crushes hand in his while they take romantic walks in the park. Jaebeom’s thoughts are constantly swarmed by an adorable, brown-haired angel and he doesn’t know what to do. 

In all honesty, he didn’t know what he was feeling when he first realized his affection for his friend is more than friendly. He knew the familiar warmth in his chest was fondness, he’s been aware of that sensation since they met, so when Jaebeom noticed the difference in his behavior, he assumed he was sick. His hands were clammy and his face felt hot whenever they were in speaking distance, which was _every damn day_. He didn’t think much into it until one night the younger vocalist visited him at his home for dinner and they spent the entire night talking about everything under the sun. It was comfortable sitting next to him and being able to voice his fears of the past and plans for the future, in a soft and welcoming atmosphere. 

By the time the pair noticed how time slipped past both of them, they were shoulder to shoulder on the comfort of Jaebeom’s fur-covered couch. They ended their long evening with a promise of seeing each other the next day and a graze of fingers on his way out. When Jaebeom crawled into bed that night, with his spirits high and stomach overrun with butterflies, he had the sudden awakening that he didn’t want his friend to leave, but stay with him for the night or for the rest of their lives. 

The next day at a team meeting, Jaebeom took one look at him and internally said, _Oh_. He knew he was in deep and there was no way out. 

He’s been struggling with his dilemma for a little over two months now. The idol is clueless in love, only having had a few relationships in the past and more rejections to outweigh the acceptions. Jaebeom doesn’t want to mess up the team's dynamic just so he could find a little slice of happiness that doesn’t include music. He’d rather keep his feelings bottled up than risk a potential scandal. 

So there he sits, wallowing in his pool of unlucky love with a now empty bottle and no one to listen to his ramblings. Jaebeom assumes this is how his life will continue, drinking his worries away in the confinement of his house. His crush probably doesn’t want to be with him, not even his cats wanted to be in the same room as him. He’s destined for a sad love life, one full of bitterness and unrequited feelings. 

Jaebeom paused his thoughts, then made a face of confusion. He blinked then shook his head hard enough to give himself brain damage. 

He’s making his crisis sound like a plot to a TVN series. His love life isn’t a drama, it’s more like a comedy but he’s the punch line. He’s just overreacting, it’s not as bad as his muddled mind makes it out to be. Maybe he needs to clear his head, get some fresh air to ease his running thoughts. Jaebeom shifted in his seat then glanced down at the green bottle in his hand. 

Or maybe he needs another drink. 

Jaebeom pondered that thought for a moment, then nodded. Yeah, it’s definitely the latter. 

He stood from his comfortable seat and wobbled to the kitchen. He discarded the bottle in the recycling bin next to his full trash can. He should probably take that out sometime soon if he doesn’t want Koonta rummaging for scraps. At least that’s a problem he’s able to fix. 

The satisfying _pop!_ of the bottle and how the cool liquid flowed down his throat made Jaebeom relax. His mind is still running wild with possible confession ideas that he knew he’d never commit too, though the small sliver of hope in his chest was a nice sensation. He lays awake at night thinking of how’d he do it. A giddy smile would always appear on his face when Imagination Crush accepts his feelings with open arms and shy cheek kisses. 

Jaebeom always fell asleep with the object of affection in his mind, dreaming about a domestic life together with five cats and one white dog. He doesn’t care if he’s allergic. Jaebeom would withstand a whole pack of dogs if it meant they could live together. The pair would wake up every morning to each other’s sleeping faces and start their day together. They’d eat breakfast, feed the pets, leave the house hand in hand, and live that domestic life Jaebeom has only wished for. He’s never seen a future with anyone before, not his first love or even that actress he was head over heels for in seventh grade. Though with Him, Jaebeom can see it crystal clear. 

The vocalist might be getting ahead of himself, but he’s sure of it. There’s no doubt in his mind that he’s wrong about this. 

Youngjae is the one for him.

A spark went off in his head. What the hell is he doing? Jaebeom is in love with one of his best friends, he has the chance to have someone adore him and care for him. It’s in his grasp, sitting in his palm for the taking. But what is Jaebeom doing? Being a coward. A spineless, scaredy-cat who hasn’t even taken consideration in the fact that his affections could be reciprocated. Jaebeom deserves happiness and if there’s even the slightest chance that he could have it with Youngjae, then he’s a dumbass for not going for it. 

Jaebeom chugged down the rest of his soju then spun around. Odd sat on the countertop, watching Jaebeom with large green and blue eyes. He cocked his head to the side, observing his owner with either concern or amusement, Jaebeom couldn’t tell through his blurry eyesight. 

“I’m g-gonna do it,” he slurred. The dark-haired man stumbled forward until he was face to whiskers with his cat. “Tonight. Right now.” 

Jaebeom pushed himself off the counter and made his way to the front door. He had half a mind to slip on his shoes before running out the door when a thought popped into his head. The idol fished his phone out from his pocket and fumbled with his contacts list until he pressed on his most recent conversation. 

It only rang for a few seconds before a gruff, sleep-filled voice answered. “ _Hyung? Why are you calling so late?_ ”

“Jinyoungie, I’m doing it,” Jaebeom confirmed. “I’m going o-over now.”

“ _Jaebeom-hyung, what are you talking about? Are you okay?_ ” There was rustling on the other end then Jinyoung asked in a worried tone, “ _Are you drunk?_ ”

“Yes. I d-drank two? I think it was t-two, bottles of soju now I’m going to his house.” Jaebeom opened his door then staggered outside. His unsteady feet made it hard to walk to the elevator of his apartment, so he leaned on the wall for support. “I’m leaving r-right now. I can’t hold it in any longer. My head is g-gonna explode if I d-don’t.” 

“ _Hyung, it’s two in the morning. You’re insane if you’re going out at this hour,_ ” Jinyoung’s voice grew panicked. “ _Stay where you are, I’m coming ov—_ ”

“No! I’m going over there. I need to do this or else I might regret it for the rest of my life.” He punched the lift button and pressed his head to the cool surface. It felt good on his heated skin, allowing some of the haze to clear. “This is my chance.”

“ _Chance to do what?_ ” Jinyoung was wide awake now. He’s probably sitting up in his bed, worried that his leader might get himself into trouble. Jaebeom won’t lie, it is a possibility. “ _Hyung, you’re not making sense. What the hell are you doing?_ ”

Jaebeom’s voice steeled with determination no drunk man should have. “I’m gonna love the fuck outta Youngjae.” The elevator dinged and the doors opened. “If I don’t show up to practice then assume I fucked things up and I’m crying with my cats. Bring me food and strawberry milk, and make sure the guys don’t know about this.”

“ _Jaebeom-hyung, now’s not a good time. Tell Youngjae in the morning when you’re sober and—_ ”

“I can’t! It’s now or never. I can’t live knowing I let this moment slip past me.” Once the ding sounded again and the doors slid open, Jaebeom was stumbling towards his apartment's exit. His shaky legs almost gave out on him a few times, making him hastily regain his balance. “You should do the same. Jackson likes you too, so stop being a fucking wimp and tell him.”

“ _W-what? Don’t change the subject!_ ” Jinyoung was most likely blushing at the mention of _his_ object of affection. He should really take Jaebeom’s advice. Drunk or not, the older man knew what he was talking about. Kind of. 

“I’m hanging up. I can’t drive right now so I’m running to his house.”

“ _Jaebeom, don’t you dare! It’s dark and cold, you could get hurt!_ ”

“Don’t care. I need to see Youngjae.”

“ _Lim Jaebeom, I swear to God if you don’t—"_ Jinyoung never finished his threat due to Jaebeom ending the call. He slipped his phone back into his pajama pants and took off sprinting.

* * *

Jaebeom made a lot of dumb choices in his life. There was the time he drank expired milk that resulted in the worst stomach ache he’s ever had. The moment at a fansign when he high-kicked bubbles but ended up kicking himself instead was very embarrassing. And the day he tried a new b-boy move that caused him to fall on his head and lose his memory will always haunt him. 

Though now, he thinks his dumbest decision is running through the streets of Seoul in nothing but thin pajama pants and a ratty sweater. He’s probably done stupider things, and will most likely make more in the future, but his brain is functioning on autopilot so he can’t worry about that right now. Jaebeom’s not even afraid that someone might see him and report him to the police. Or even worse, Dispatch. 

Jaebeom should care about his idol image. No famous superstar should be running at 2am just to confess their love to their bandmate, though in hindsight, Jaebeom also doesn’t care. His body is fueled by adrenaline and soju, a horrible combination when he thinks about it, but it’s the final kick he needed to get his ass in gear. 

The vocalist rounded the last corner of the street and dashed towards the large apartment building. He had no patience to wait for the elevator in the lobby, so he booked it towards the stairs. He climbed two at a time and tried not to fall on his face while thinking of what he’s going to say to Youngjae. 

Jaebeom wants to wax poetic rhythms to his love, however, all his hazy brain can think of is his cute face and eye mole so he’s scratching the lovey-dovey shit. He’ll just wing it. And if Youngjae rejects him then he’ll blame it on the alcohol. Yeah, that sounds like a good Plan B. 

By the time Jaebeom made it to the fourth floor, he was drenched in sweat and smelled like a gym locker. He probably doesn’t look any better either, but again, he doesn’t care. All he can think about is Youngjae.

 _Youngjae, Youngjae, Youngjae,_ his mind chanted like a mantra. He probably said his name out loud as he skidded to a hasty stop in front of the younger’s door, though Jaebeom couldn’t hear anything over the frantic beating of his heart. He pounded a fist against the wood loud enough to wake up the whole building, the rapid taps of his knuckles made them start to bruise. 

“Youngjae!” He called. “Choi Youngjae, open the door!” Small, high pitched barks responded from the other side. Jaebeom has never been happier to hear a dog. “Coco! Coco, go get your daddy!” More knocks echoed down the hallway along with someone a few doors down yelling at him to shut up. “Go girl, wake him up so I can—”

Heavy footsteps came from inside then, without warning, the door swung open. Jaebeom didn’t have any time to react before an angered hand grasped his sweater and hauled him through the threshold.

He stumbled into the apartment, tripping over his own feet and Coco excitedly licking his heels then he was practically thrown to the side. When he regained his balance, Youngjae was in his space, sleepy eyes fiery with an oversized shirt hanging off one shoulder. Jaebeom’s mind went blank for approximately five seconds as he zeroed in on Youngjae’s creamy skin in the dim lighting. It gave him enough time to appreciate the moles on his smooth neck and collarbone, though his ogling was short-lived when the other vocalist grabbed him by the biceps and vigorously shook him. 

“Hyung, _what the_ _fuck_ are you doing?” Youngjae demanded. “Do you know what time it is? You can’t be screaming outside my door, you practically woke up the whole street!” The younger took a second to breathe, then made a face. He leaned in to sniff Jaebeom’s sweaty neck and recoiled at the heavy scent of alcohol. “Have you been drinking? Are you nuts? We have a schedule today!” 

Jaebeom tore his stare away from the very distracting piece of skin to peer into Youngjae’s heated gaze. He blinked owlishly at the other, looking at his lips but not listening to the words coming out. Everything was muffled as blood raced through Jaebeom’s ears. The adrenaline that coursed through him moments ago started to subside, allowing the hazy clouds in his head to dissipate. Jaebeom kept his stare on Youngjae’s swift-moving mouth until it all clicked.

He’s mad at him. 

Dread flooded Jaebeom’s body. His plan wasn’t to enrage the brunette, it was far from that! Jaebeom’s single thought of rushing to Youngjae’s place to confess his affection for him seemed like a great plan, a top-notch idea that left the elder reeling. Even though he didn’t take into account the situation completely going south, Jaebeom’s alcohol filled stomach and Youngjae stocked brain couldn’t think of anything else but the need to see him. So he did. With no hesitation.

Though now being at the mercy of a cute, pissed off ball of drowsiness, Jaebeom wished he did hesitate. He also wished he didn’t drink that second bottle of soju. It’s all the alcohol’s fault, not Jaebeom’s. Yeah, Plan B.

A thousand different apologies swarmed Jaebeom’s brain. They all ranged from ‘ _I’m sorry for waking you up at two in the morning and probably making your neighbors hate me'_ , to ‘ _you might be screaming at me right now but you look really cute when you’re mad, please continue because I deserve it',_ and finally ending at ‘ _this is the part of the joke that is my love life where we both laugh and pretend this never happened'._

Out of all the phrases and excuses Jaebeom conjured up, the one his mouth decided to say was a rushed out, garbled mix of, “I wasn’t thinking about anything but you because you’re always on my mind and I’m in love with you.” 

Youngjae stopped his scolding to clamp his mouth shut. His eyes were wide, kind of puffy and red from the unpleasant wakeup call, and full of something Jaebeom can’t put his finger on. The younger finally released him and took a step back. He was painfully quiet, and for Youngjae, that is _never_ a good thing. 

Panic began to set in. The apartment suddenly felt small and snug, the walls started to close in on Jaebeom, pushing out his pent up emotions until he was the one grabbing Youngjae by the arms. The other boy didn’t flinch. He was frozen from either shock or Jaebeom’s disgusting soju breath, though at a closer inspection of his large eyes, the elder saw the spark in them that made him fall. Jaebeom’s still falling, even now when there’s a small chance he might be rejected, he’s still taking that last leap. 

The courage returned in waves. He took a deep breath then said carefully, “I love you.” There was a second to breathe. A moment for Youngjae to push him away. When the latter didn’t arrive, Jaebeom continued. 

“I’m completely serious. I really love you,” Jaebeom carried on, words gushing out of him all in one breath. “You make me feel invincible, like I can do anything. You do so much for me, like when I was sick and you came over to make sure I was okay then stayed the night to take care of me and my cats. You didn’t have to do it, but you _did_ because that’s just the kind of person you are. You’re selfless and sweet and you make me really happy, like _super_ happy.”

Youngjae blinked. “I do?” His voice was small, almost breathless. 

“Yes! And I can never get you outta my head. You’re always on my mind, when I’m cooking or cleaning or writing songs, you’re always there.” Jaebeom gasped for air, then blurted, “And I think about us. I want to take you out on dates and hold your hand and kiss you. _God_ , do I wanna kiss you.” 

Youngjae’s breath hitched. Jaebeom took that as a good sign to keep going even if his rambles slowly started to slur. He loosened his grip on the younger boy then carefully slid his hands down to Youngjae wrists. He felt the brunette’s pulse quicken. The frantic beats were just as fast as Jaebeom’s own. 

Jaebeom swallowed the lump in his throat then continued. “I wanna be with you. I have this dream, see, where we’re living together with Nora and Odd and Coco. I’ll make you breakfast in the morning then we can play video games together—”

“Hyung.”

“—and watch movies and you’ll play with my hair because I really like it when you do that—”

“Hyung!”

“—and I’ll buy you all the Legos you want. I know you collect them so you can have your own room for you to build—”

“Jaebeom-hyung!”

Jaebeom’s mouth snapped shut with an audible click. He felt his bones rattle when Youngjae raised his voice but that didn’t beat the surge of yearning that coursed through him when the vocalist gently cupped his cheeks. Jaebeom’s heart was lodged in his throat, reducing his aimless babbles to labored breaths. He stood there, hands shaking and face warm. Coco barked somewhere to his left, almost like she was laughing at him.

“Hyung,” Youngjae began, voice soft and hands stroking his red cheeks, “you’re so stupid.” 

Jaebeom’s heart jumped from his throat to the floor. Coco kept laughing at him.

The younger brushed Jaebeom’s bangs out of his eyes, “Out of all the times you could’ve confessed, you had to do it completely plastered?” Youngjae laughed, light and airy. “That’s so unlike you.”

He wasn’t mad. Why wasn’t he mad? Jaebeom barged into his house and word vomited his desire to live with him in a cozy home with their pets after making a ruckus outside his apartment and he’s not mad? Jaebeom felt like collapsing right there, next to his heart and the cackling dog.

Another caress of his cheek, brush of his hair, then Youngjae said, “You’re lucky I love you too or else you would have kicked you out by now.” 

Jaebeom blinked. The floor gave out from under him but he wasn’t falling, he felt his stomach backflip and knees shake but he remained standing. He swallowed the pleas of forgiveness teetering on his tongue to reply with a choked, “C-come again?” 

Youngjae only smiled at him, the same toothy grin that Jaebeom constantly dreamt he’d be on the receiving end of. He moved a hand to Jaebeom’s nape, sending tingles down his spine. His fingers threaded through sweaty hair, a warm touch on his cold skin. Jaebeom had the need to apologize for his appearance but stopped short when Youngjae leaned in and kissed him soundly on the mouth. 

It was just a peck, a quick touch of lips that lasted no more than a nanosecond but that was the last straw to finally have Jaebeom give in. His legs buckled from under him and he jerked forward into Youngjae’s arms, head spinning more from their kiss than the alcohol. 

“Hey, hey, I got you.” He chuckled then hoisted the elder to stand again, arms around his waist and hand steady on his hips. “You need to sleep this off. I don’t want you to have a headache tomorrow.” 

The black-haired man didn’t register his limbs moving on their accord until he was seated on Youngjae’s couch. The warmth from having the younger boy at his side disappeared for a moment then returned along with a bottle of water. 

“Drink it. You’ll feel better afterwards.” Youngjae uncapped the top then brought it to Jaebeom’s lips. The moment the cool liquid entered his mouth, Jaebeom snatched the bottle and downed the whole thing in a matter of seconds. Youngjae giggled again then stood up. “You can sleep out here. I’ll go get you a blanket.”

Jaebeom’s throat regained its ability to speak. “N-no, it’s okay. I can—”

“Hyung, don’t you dare say you’re going back home.” Youngjae fixed him with a hard stare that had Jaebeom squirming in his seat. “You’re staying the night. End of discussion.”

The brunette left then reappeared with pillows and a fluffy blanket. He placed the cushion on the far end of the couch and dropped the blanket in Jaebeom’s lap. The elder wanted to say he caused enough trouble for the night and would go home if Youngjae told him too, but his words never came and his body didn’t listen. The boy shushed him and gently pushed him back into the soft pillows, making the elder finally begin to shut down. Jaebeom wanted to protest but Youngjae draped the blanket over his unresponsive body, telling him to sleep. 

“You’re exhausted, hyung, you can’t work like this tomorrow.” The vocalist crouched down next to the sofa so they were face to face. Another stroke of his fingers over Jaebeom’s forehead made him mewl. “I’ll make sure to wake you in time. And then we…” Youngjae nervously nibbled his bottom lip, “w-we need to talk a-about stuff.” 

Jaebeom’s stomach lurched. “I’m sorry I dumped all of this on you. I didn’t mean for it to happen this way, I didn’t want you to find out like this.” Youngjae opened his mouth to speak, but the elder leaned up on his elbows and crowded into his personal space. “I meant everything I said. I love you and I want to be with you. If you don’t believe me then put me to bed and in the morning I’ll say it again, as many times as I need to.”

The elder was scared. He heard Youngjae say he loved him back, loud and clear, though a part of him is worried the boy brushed it off as a drunkard’s mindless rambles and only said it to calm him down. Jaebeom doesn’t want to be rejected like this, but he also doesn’t want to push him. His feelings are out on the table for Youngjae to gage for himself. Whatever he chooses to do with Jaebeom’s heart, Jaebeom will respect it. 

“You don’t need to do that,” Youngjae consoled. He pressed forward until they were nose to nose. Jaebeom felt a new wave of red bloom over his cheeks when Youngjae’s breath ghosted over his mouth. “I know you love me.”

“You do?” 

“You’re not that subtle, hyung.”

“I’m not?”

Youngjae giggled. “Not at all. You were cute whenever I’d catch you staring at me. Your face would turn red and you’d pretend you were looking at something else.”

Jaebeom’s cheeks flared. It’s not like he didn’t try to keep his eyes away from a blinding smile, cute laugh, and soothing voice. He just couldn’t help it. Like now, his eyes are glued to Youngjae’s full lips and Jaebeom is trying not to combust over the younger openly staring at his own.

His hand reached out until his clammy palm was placed on Youngjae’s face. Jaebeom’s probably pushing his luck right about now, but his bravery is back for a second helping and he’s going to milk it for all it’s worth. “Well, since you know I love you and you love me back, would it be too much to ask for another kiss?” 

Youngjae’s chuckle is Jaebeom’s favorite sound in the world, though now it just sounds insulting. He leaned forward, bumping their noses together, then pecked the side of Jaebeom’s mouth. It’s not what he was hoping for, but he’ll take what he can get.

“Go to bed. I’ll be here in the morning.” The brunette stood and pulled the blanket up to Jaebeom’s chin. He carded his hand through black hair once more before departing from his living room with a soft, “Goodnight, hyung.” 

Jaebeom followed his movements until he heard the creak of his bedroom door. A white mass of fur entered his line of sight, tail wagging happily like it was glad to see that Jaebeom stayed on the couch. 

The idol narrowed his eyes. “What are you looking at?” 

Coco yipped, almost like she was mocking him. She licked her snout then upturned her tail and trotted towards Youngjae’s room. There was rustling down the hallway and an affection filled, “Coco-ya,” echoed back to the living room.

Before Jaebeom crashed hard, the extreme fatigue starting to settle him down, he wished for the thousandth time that he was a small, Maltese dog. 

* * *

The first thing Jaebeom registered when he woke up was the smell of _haejangguk_ wafting from the kitchen. The second thing was the pounding headache hammering at his temples. The third was a weight on his chest and a wet tongue licking his forehead.

Jaebeom groaned and swatted Coco away, earning himself one last doggie kiss, before sitting up. The sunlight seeping through half-closed blinds was a menace on his achy body, making him feel like he ran a marathon. Well, he sort of did, a very short marathon. 

“Morning sunshine. Did you sleep well?” The man could only utter a pained grunt then slumped forward to cradle his head. Youngjae laughed as he took a seat next to him and rubbed soothing circles on his back. “I made you breakfast. You don’t have to eat it now if you don’t want to.”

Jaebeom cracked open a bleary eye to see a steaming bowl of soup on the coffee table along with a glass of water and painkillers. His stomach growled at the mouth-watering aroma of beefy broth and juicy meat, causing him to realize how hungry he really was. He glanced at Youngjae only to find him already staring, eyes wide and lip caught between his teeth. Jaebeom cracked a crooked smile. 

“I said I wanted to cook you breakfast in the mornings.”

Youngjae’s smile mirrored his own. “You can’t cook when you’re dead to the world, hyung.” 

_Ah, point taken._

He ate in silence, chewing his food as quietly as possible so he didn’t disrupt the little space they’ve created. He knew they needed to talk, Jaebeom wants nothing more to clear the air and explain himself, though if he spoke then he’d have to relive the most embarrassing experience he’s ever had. 

He’s still trying to process it. The trek to Youngjae’s house. The confession. The split-second moment of fear he felt when Youngjae called him stupid (Jaebeom knows he’s an idiot, he didn’t need clarification ). And when Youngjae said he loved him back. Jaebeom is having a hard time believing last night was real. He wants to think that he got drunk and took a harmless walk to the young singer’s place, for what, he doesn’t know. 

Though, when he finished his soup and took the medicine, Youngjae finally decided to speak up and the tension made itself known. “Why were you drinking on a weekday?”

Jaebeom shrugged. “I needed to take the edge off.”

“Was it because of me?” 

He wants to say no, but it’s true. Jaebeom grabbed the first bottle because he was overthinking his feelings again. Negative thoughts ran amok, making his mood damper and heart throb. He needed a pick-me-up and a green bottle was the perfect solution to his night of self-wallowing. He didn’t think he’d end up where he is now, though, he doesn’t regret it. 

Youngjae was quiet for a moment, then he bumped their shoulders. His smile was back and blinding as ever. “Why couldn't you tell me like a normal person? Like over text message or even email? It would’ve been easier.”

Jaebeom bumped him back. “When have I ever taken the easy route?”

“God, you’re impossible,” the younger sighed. “You gave me a heart attack last night. I thought something was wrong.” 

“I didn’t mean to.”

“I know you didn’t. It’s fine, but now I’m sure my neighbors hate me.” 

Jaebeom chuckled. “I’ll send them all an apology basket.” Another bout of silence. Another high pitched bark from Coco. Jaebeom moistened his lips, nerves on edge, then asked, “So do accept them? My feelings?”

Youngjae raised an eyebrow. “You really are stupid, aren’t you?”

Jaebeom emitted a squawk of protest then lunged forward. He looped an arm around the boy’s neck and brought him tumbling onto the couch. Surprised squeals echoed throughout the apartment, making the jack-hammer in Jaebeom’s head rev twice as fast. Coco barked and Youngjae laughed and Jaebeom tried really hard not to internally combust from how close they were. It felt like a perfectly normal day, save for the elder’s hangover. 

When Youngjae broke free, he was draped over Jaebeom, cheeks donning a pink hue and hair ruffled. His shirt was pulled to the side again, exposing his shoulder and allowing Jaebeom to finally focus on something other than his motorboat like heartbeats. He probably looked and smelled terrible, though, from the way Youngjae pushed his bangs away from his eyes and ran his thumb over his twin moles, shifting so he was comfortably laying on Jaebeom’s torso, it seemed like he didn’t mind.

“ _I_ meant what I said last night. I love you too, idiot,” Youngjae reassured. “A lot. If you haven’t noticed.” 

Jaebeom’s heart swelled, expanding to the brink of explosion. He’s been reduced to a mute statue once again, the hands on the small of Youngjae’s back grew clammy and his lungs decided to malfunction. He was a mess, a hot mess with a cute boy on top of him looking at him like he was his world. Jaebeom just about cried. 

The older idol cleared his dry throat. “T-that’s nice to know.” 

Youngjae giggled, a burst of melodic harmony so refreshing Jaebeom felt like he was doused with cold water. His headache cleared. His acne disappeared. The crops began to grow. The rain came back to the deserts. Youngjae’s laugh is the best sound in the whole world and Jaebeom can never get enough of it.

“You know we’ll have to hide our relationship from the company, right?” Jaebeom nodded but his mind hooked onto one word and the rest went out the window. 

Relationship. He has a relationship with an angel that goes beyond the friendly smiles and encouraging back pats. They can go on dates and hold hands and kiss. Jaebeom’s body erupted with electricity just by thinking of sharing the same bed as him, holding Youngjae in his arms as he drifted off to sleep like they used to do when they were rookies, rooming together in a too-small apartment with five other guys. 

Only this time, Jaebeom now understands that the blossoming petals of affection he harbored, which soon turned into a full bouquet before he knew it, is the love he has for a single boy. Damn, he really is an idiot for not realizing it sooner. 

With a garbled cry, Jaebeom pulled Youngjae forward so he could bury his face in the junction of his neck. He wrapped his arms around his shoulders to minimize any chance of escaping the younger might attempt. “Or we can tell them today,” he suggested.

This is the part where Youngjae tried to wriggle out of his hold. He didn’t get very far before giving up and flopping back down to Jaebeom’s chest, breaths tickling his neck and causing the electric in his veins to pop. 

“Are you sure?” There was fear in his voice. He’s masking it, but Jaebeom can tell he’s scared. “What if they’re assholes and PD-nim tells us to break up because he doesn’t support us and then we’re getting kicked out—”

Lips to his forehead and a soothing hand in his hair calmed the boy down. Jaebeom won’t lie, he’s terrified too. He finally has what he’s always wanted now there’s a possibility that it might be ripped away from him. They can’t hide their relationship from their managers or boss, it’s company law to reveal any sort of romantic affairs within the group. He’s seen senior groups go through the same thing, however, they weren’t dating anyone of the same gender and it wasn’t a fellow bandmate. 

Jaebeom doesn’t know how they’ll fair to their new relationship, but he does know he’s an even bigger idiot if he doesn’t fight for it. He finally found his slice of happiness and he’ll see it through the end. 

“Remember what I said last night?”

“About you buying me Legos?” The brunette teased. The vocalist emitted a series of cackles when his leader dug his hand into his side.

“No, not that,” Jaebeom chuckled. “When I said you make me feel invincible. When I’m with you, I’m unstoppable. You have, like, this weird Youngjae Power over me.”

Youngjae’s eyes danced with a childlike wonder. He couldn’t keep the smile off his face when he asked, “Is that a good thing?”

“It’s the best thing,” the elder confirmed. “And that means, if you’re with me when I tell PD-nim, then I don’t have to be afraid of anything.”

“You’re really sure about this?”

“Are _you_ sure about this?” Jaebeom retorted. “I don’t want to push you into anything you’re not comfortable with. That includes being with me.”

The few seconds Youngjae was quiet felt like a lifetime. Jaebeom held his breath, heart thumping wildly in his chest as he searched his face for any sign of doubt he might have. He didn’t relax until Youngjae stared him straight in the eyes and leaned in to kiss his cheek. 

The electricity popped again. 

“I want to tell the company. I want to be with you, hyung. I want to hold you, write songs all day with you, and watch dramas together. You make me happy beyond belief, more than I could ever imagine” Youngjae cupped Jaebeom’s face in his hands and gently stroked under his eyes. “When I’m around you, I feel a hundred different emotions at once, and if I’m with you when we tell the company, then being afraid isn’t one of them.”

 _Oh God, oh God, oh God,_ Jaebeom thought. _Don’t cry, not now. You just told him you’re invincible now you’re tearing up like a baby._ _Choi Youngjae, you’re my biggest strength and greatest weakness._

Jaebeom felt the pinpricks of tears behind his eyelids, though he didn’t let them fall. He only nodded and returned to his cozy nook in Youngjae’s neck. “Okay, j-just give me a minute.” 

He didn’t say anything. The boy held him close and held him tight. They don’t need words at this point, just being with each other conveyed their desire to be together. Jaebeom regained his senses when he stopped sniffling. He reluctantly detached himself from his boyfriend’s (boyfriend! Youngjae is his boyfriend!) shoulder. Then a thought occurred to him, one that had Jaebeom’s earlier energy return. 

“You know,” he began, voice light and holding that mischievous undertone. “Now that we’re a thing—”

Youngjae snorted. “Causal as ever, are we?”

“—that means I can kiss you, right? Anytime I want? The ones we had weren’t really ‘first kiss’ worthy.” 

Youngjae mulled over his words, pretending to be deep in thought even though Jaebeom already knew the answer. The way he excitedly gripped the elder’s shoulder was a dead giveaway. 

“Yes,” Youngjae replied, “you do.” 

That was the green light Jaebeom was waiting for. He tangled his hand in Youngjae’s hair to bring him down to his lips. The electricity finally exploded when they connected, sparks flew this way and that, making warmth race through his fingers and arms, then down his shoulders to his legs until Jaebeom was sure his entire body was on fire. 

Youngjae’s mouth was as soft and plush as Jaebeom imagined it would be. The boy moved his lips like an expert, sensual and slow. Jaebeom had half a mind to pull back and apologize for his horrendous morning breath, though that thought soon disappeared when a tongue hesitantly swiped Jaebeom’s bottom lip. He didn’t deny him, Jaebeom opened his mouth with a soft groan, allowing their muscles to dance together.

When air became a need instead of a want, Jaebeom pulled back just a hair’s length, then his heart skipped a beat. Youngjae’s eyes were blown, the rich brown turned so dark they were almost black. His cheeks were cherry red, matching the nice tint of his kiss swollen lips. A surge of pride welled in Jaebeom’s chest. He did that. He made loud and boisterous Youngjae into a shy, stunned mess. Now that’s an ego booster. 

“W-we should,” the younger’s voice was raspy and it wasn’t because of the early morning. “We should really get ready. We need to meet the others in a while.”

Jaebeom nodded. “Yeah, yeah okay.” 

The couple parted then detached themselves from each other. Youngjae took the used dishes to the kitchen with Jaebeom on his heel, using the excuse of needing more water to hide his need to be within a ten-centimeter distance of his new boyfriend. 

“You never answered my question,” the brunette spoke up. “Were you really drinking because of me?”

 _No use denying it._

“Yeah, I was.” Jaebeom leaned against the sink counter, eyeing the way Youngjae washed the dishes. He has really pretty hands, he concluded. 

“So I was the reason because...” 

“I didn’t think you’d feel the same.” 

Youngjae playfully scoffed. “And you thought drinking was the solution to your problem?” 

“No,” Jaebeom defended. “But it did help me. A bit of liquid courage never harmed anyone. 

“No it didn’t, it just made you barge into my house at two in the morning so you could scream how much you love me at the top of your lungs.” A smirk graced Youngjae’s features when Jaebeom narrowed his eyes at him. 

He came behind the younger, snaking his arms around his waist and resting his chin on his shoulders. He began to sway, making Youngjae turn his smirk into a goofy smile. “You know what else it did?”

“What’s that?”

“It landed me a boyfriend,” Jaebeom sing-songed. “The cutest, sweetest, most adorable—”

Jaebeom should’ve seen the handful of soap coming, but he was too preoccupied with making Youngjae blush to really notice. 

“Shut up, hyung, please.” 

Jaebeom laughed (well, more like coughed up dish-water suds) and continued to move side to side. The sparks around them shimmered and dimmed into something soft, more soothing. When Youngjae finished, he placed his hands over Jaebeom’s laced ones on his stomach. The black-haired man spun him around so they were eye-level, brown meeting brown. 

Youngjae moved his arms so they hung over Jaebeom’s shoulders. “Your liquid courage also gave you a nasty hangover. Are you feeling okay?” 

“Yeah, never better.”

“Good, now go take a shower. You smell and I’m not about to kiss you anymore when you taste like stale soju.” 

Jaebeom pouted. “You can be a little nicer, you know.” 

Youngjae pinched his cheek. “Consider this payback for waking me up before noon.” 

“Can I say it’s the hangover talking if I asked you to join me in the shower?” Jaebeom raised his eyebrows, gaze hopeful and smile sheepish. 

Youngjae squeaked then shoved his face into the older man’s neck. He pounded flimsy fists on his chest and emitted a sound that resembled a muffled gurgle. 

“Pushing my luck?” Jaebeom chortled.

Youngjae nodded. “Just a bit.”

Jaebeom giggled as he hugged the boy tighter. He might be asking for too much too soon, but you can’t blame him for trying. His experience with liquid courage gave him a bold front, one he’ll be using from now on. 

Though he can’t rely on it all the time. He needs to learn to be brave without a handicap, and with Youngjae at his side, Jaebeom’s positive he can do just that. 

**Author's Note:**

> drinking game, take a shot every time I make the main pairing cuddle in the kitchen :D


End file.
